Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing?

Stop being so elfish, Karen!

Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing?

Because it had ten tickles

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?

Amaized.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how many cops planted it there

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.