Police Officer Jokes

What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed?

An under cover cop.

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Which street does the police officer live in?

Let's be Avenue

How does a police officer go to the bathroom?

Ctrl+C

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

Why did the police officer smell?

Because he was on duty.

What's he like?

Asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women."

What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U. Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy.

What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers?

I'm confused.

What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.

What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

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What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop?

On duty

What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge?

You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now.

Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

It was selling coke.

What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

What is the difference between God and a police officer?

God doesn't think he's a police officer.

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

What do you call a racist police officer?

A Police Officer

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Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do all the bad hamburger buns live?

In the seedy part of town

How do tree surgeons live?

Life on the hedge!

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense?

You are the banner of my existence.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

Outside Jokes More Outside Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

What's black on the outside but yellow on the inside?

Ninja chicken.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's white on the outside, black on the inside and soon to be orange all over?

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

What's red on the outside and green on the inside?

A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.

Nickname Jokes More Nickname Jokes

What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer?

A fair cop.

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

Avenue Jokes More Avenue Jokes

Which street does the police officer live in?

Let's be Avenue

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shade

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire