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Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA?

So he could go to Otter Space.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

How do cats buy things?

From a cat-alogue!

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast

What Do You Call Giving a Dutch Guy a Gun?

Armin Van Buren.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the virus get a ticket?

Because he was driving under the influenza......

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!