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Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the baby cigarette want to be when it grew up?

A Drag Queen

Why did Ahmed take his clock to school?

He wanted to see time fly

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

How much do you pay to buy corn from a pirate?

You pay a buccaneer.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

What's the difference between a gun and a feminist?

A gun has one trigger.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?