Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer?

Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

How long does it take to reach the ground from 100 stories up?

The rest of your life.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where does Kylie buy her kebabs?

From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)

What did the boy buy at the grocery store?

Too Bad, I'm not telling you!

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

When should you charge a battery?

When you can't pay cash.

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up.