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Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn regular water into holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Who reached the ground first?

Noone cares.

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

Before 15:30...

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why is it hard to buy potatoes on the black market?

Because there are eyes everywhere!

Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

At the stock market

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

Why did Cher go nuclear when the shopkeeper didn't give her the receipt?

Cher-No-Bill

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

Sir, you dropped your receipt!

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word