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How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

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Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

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Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.

What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.