Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

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Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

A fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

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How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

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What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

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Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory?

Because she was fed up with the hole business.

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What do you say when your GIF doesn't work?

You get the picture.

What do you call a sink that doesn't work?

A faux-cet.

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What do you get when you mix a hippo, an elephant and a rhino?

Hell-if-I-know!

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

Can Jokes More Can Jokes

Why are recycle bins optimistic?

Because they're full of cans.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

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What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

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How does Santa make new baby reindeer?

In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in Vixen.

Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.