Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

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Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

A fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

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Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

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What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

Sprite Jokes More Sprite Jokes

Why does NASA drink sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up

What is a ghost's favorite drink?

Sprite

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What is Batman's Japanese emergency number?

7777-Batman

Which US state is friendliest toward the Japanese?

Ohio

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How many koalas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, given that he's koali-fied for the job.

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

Allahu Snackbar Jokes More Allahu Snackbar Jokes

What did the Jihad name his concession stand?

Allahu Snackbar!

Where does a Muslim go for a quick bite?

Allahu Snackbar!

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!