Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

A fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

What did the /r/science mod say to the user?

Removed

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Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Why did the man quit working at the cemetery?

It was hard to make a living.

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What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

What type of curry sets fire to the rain?

A-Dhal

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Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?

So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

State Jokes More State Jokes

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico?

It seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How does The Hulk make money?

He flips houses.

What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money?

A goldfish!

Crusher Jokes More Crusher Jokes

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.