Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

A fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

Why isn't Kanye West allowed in rural Pennsylvania?

An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where does Dracula buy his pencils?

Pennsylvania.

Why did the fishermen buy a new pole?

Just for the halibut.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

Allahu Jokes More Allahu Jokes

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

Soda Machine Jokes More Soda Machine Jokes

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here