Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

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Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

A fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

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Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

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Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

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What is a pirate's favorite drink?

The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's a catholic's favourite type of car?

A convertible.

Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's the most terrifying gift your SO/Family can buy for you?

Reddit gold.

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the banker leave his job?

He lost interest

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Dancer Jokes More Dancer Jokes

How many dancers does it take to change a Light bulb?

5,6,7,8.

What do mathematicians and dancers have in common?

They both have algorhythm.

O Jokes More O Jokes

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What's that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?

Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What's the difference between parents who don't vaccinate their children and ISIS?

One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views. And the other group is ISIS.

What's the best benefit of working for ISIS?

Early retirement