What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

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How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme... pomme pomme..."

Why do hipsters love 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'?

Because it was the first Indie film.

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Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

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How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!