Soda Machine Jokes

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

Monica Lewinsky Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Jokes

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Insert Bill Jokes More Insert Bill Jokes

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the Bible?

Duderonomy! They also like Leviticus.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why didn't the lawyer monkey make any money?

Because he did all his work pro bonobo

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money.