Vend Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

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What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.

Monica Lewinsky Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Jokes

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Football Coach Jokes More Football Coach Jokes

Why did the football coach return to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Rapper Jokes More Rapper Jokes

What do you call a black person that cant sing?

A rapper

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.

Insert Jokes More Insert Jokes

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why doesn't Reno Jackson like torrenting?

Because he's always fighting pirates

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

What sort of answer did you have in mind None-just assume it's changed.