Vend Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

April Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

You might also enjoy:

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

How do you spot a vegan at the gym?

Pretty much the same as anyone else.

What's my favorite machine at the gym?

The snack machine.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent.

Eminem Jokes More Eminem Jokes

Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

Shady's back*

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

Quarter Jokes More Quarter Jokes

Why is the moon like a dollar?

It has four quarters.

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.