Vend Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

Football Coach Jokes More Football Coach Jokes

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!!

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

What are unicorns who want better working enviroments for their fellow employees?

Unioncorns.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

What's my favorite machine at the gym?

The snack machine.

How do you spot a vegan at the gym?

Pretty much the same as anyone else.

Insert Jokes More Insert Jokes

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float!

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?

A. Banned from the Zoo.

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does a cactus do his math homework?

He uses a cacti-lator!

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny...