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Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There are no light bulbs in the closet. Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale Because there's no light inside the closet

Why do stop lights turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Gym Membership Jokes More Gym Membership Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why did the zombie get a gym membership?

Gaaaainsss