What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why does Snoop Dog always smile like he knows something you don't?

Because he's been snooping around.

How do you know you're getting old?

When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the plant say to the runaway melons in love?

You cantelope!

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

What do you call a planned organised rebellion gone wrong?

A "coup d'isaster".

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.