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What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

How are your step mother and a 17 in the card game 21 similar?

You know you can't but you really want to hit it.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground?

He felt the slack in his dog's leash.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the T-Rex feel after working out?

OC Dino-sore

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special Olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.