What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the shark go to the doctors?

Because he didn't feel very whale

Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy?

He was buying drinks.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many times we need to tell you that she died?

Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop Hispanic attacks.

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!

How much for a drink?

The bartender replies, "For you No charge."