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What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What is can't short for?

Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut!

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan.

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

How many children do I want to have?

Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple

Asteroid Jokes More Asteroid Jokes

Why are they called hemorrhoids?

Because asteroids was already taken.

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)