What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why did the fastest animal on earth got disqualified on the race?

Because it is using steroids.

Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?

Without him the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What happened to the plan of starting a book club?

It got shelved.

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

What happened to all the Pokémon GO jokes?

I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.

Asteroid Jokes More Asteroid Jokes

What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?

We don't need an asteroid...

Why are they called hemorrhoids?

Because asteroids was already taken.