Asteroid Jokes

Why are they called hemorrhoids?

Because asteroids was already taken.

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What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

Why're they called hemorrhoids?

Surely they should be called asteroids?:

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)

What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?

We don't need an asteroid...

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Steroid Jokes More Steroid Jokes

Why did the fastest animal on earth got disqualified on the race?

Because it is using steroids.

What do you call 2 chainz on steroids?

2-Gainz

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What does 100% humidity mean?

Even dry farts feel like wet farts.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?

Because it's a little meteor.

What did the Earth say to the Earthquake?

Sorry...that was my fault.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?

A thought.

Who?

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? I thought you said you would never forget!

Supreme Court Jokes More Supreme Court Jokes

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why did the sheep move house?

The neighbours were baaastsrds.

Why did the architect have his house made backwards?

So he could watch the football

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do I need a girlfriend for?

When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?

What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

I just need some bread

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

What is can't short for?

Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut!