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What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings?

Because he was always coming in a little behind.

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What if the lion's too close?

Picking up tiny stool "we've thought of that"

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

Because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)