Pain Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

How do cats let us know that they are in pain?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What is a French bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's a ghost's favorite type of car?

A Booghati

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

German Word Jokes More German Word Jokes

What do you call the German word for Vaseline?

Derweinerslider

What is the German word for Constipation?

Farfrompoopen.

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

Why is Sigma good at sharing?

Because he only ever takes sum of the numbers!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do I look like?

A JOKE MACHINE!?

Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?

Nobody will look for them.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

Should we walk home or take a dog

What animal has 5 legs?

A pit bull coming back from the playground.

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What does a cow measure its harddrive in?

Moogabytes

How do you measure how sad someone is?

With a blues scale