Pain Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

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What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

A masochrist.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

How do cats let us know that they are in pain?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What is a French bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

Why did Hank Hill join an S&ampM club?

He heard they were Pro-Pain.

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What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

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English Jokes More English Jokes

When did the 100 years war get serious?

When the English got Crecy

What do you call a pastry with an English degree?

A synonym roll

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist?

A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.

What do feminists search for on scavenger hunts?

Reasons to be offended.

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

What do you call ten Frenchmen who stand in front of their goalie for 90 minutes?

Dix.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

How does Alfred call Batman for dinner?

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

Why did the hipster burn their tongue?

They ate their dinner before it was cool.

Ouch Jokes More Ouch Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome?

You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.

School Jokes More School Jokes

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you

Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.