Pain Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

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What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

How do cats let us know that they are in pain?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What is a French bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

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What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!

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What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

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What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

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How do you measure love?

In hertz!

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job?

He isn't very App-y

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What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

How does someone with amnesia tell a joke?

I don't remember.

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How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

What do you think about the coming battle General?

God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.