Ouch Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!

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What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!

What would Germans call a painfully offensive joke?

Ouchwitz &gtsay ouch when offended or in pain &gtWitz is the German word for joke &gtsounds like auschwitz

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head?

A eunucorn.

Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant?

Fetus deletus

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why are ballerinas so vigilant?

They are always kept on their toes.

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why do they call a horse a horse?

Because they speak English.

How do you get down off a horse?

You don't, you get down off a duck.

Club Jokes More Club Jokes

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the director get kicked out of the bar?

He was making a scene!

What'll you have?

A tachyon walks into a bar.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Monitor Jokes More Monitor Jokes

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!