Hertz Jokes

What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

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What is the problem with high frequency?

It Hertz

How does Avis feel to be #2?

It Hertz

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

What's the only painful car rental company?

Hertz.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Ouch Jokes More Ouch Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

What happens if you pee on Putin's head?

Urine big trouble...

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

Monitor Jokes More Monitor Jokes

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Rental Car Jokes More Rental Car Jokes

What is the difference between a rental car and a Humvee?

You can take a rental car anywhere.

What happens when you get hit by a rental car?

It Hertz.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team?

She kept running away from the ball.

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"