Hertz Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!

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What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

What is the problem with high frequency?

It Hertz

How does Avis feel to be #2?

It Hertz

What happens when you get hit by a rental car?

It Hertz.

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

What does an electric engineer say when they get kicked in the balls?

Owch! it hertz

What's the only painful car rental company?

Hertz.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

How does the devil measure his drugs?

In pentagrams

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets?

They tend to be mean.

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

What did the football say to the football player?

I get a kick out of you.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did one nose say when the other nose said "I love you"?

Back achoo!

What's yer Rush Limbaugh?

Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?

Ground round!

What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?

Igloos it back together.