Distance Jokes

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

You might also enjoy:

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why was Jon Snow looking for an iWatch charger?

Because now his watch has ended.

Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies?

Because they lactate.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you know when an introvert is interested in you?

They are looking at your shoes, rather than their own.

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a North Korean robbed your house?

All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-Un.

How do you know the name of a Pokemon?

It will tell you.

Wolverine Jokes More Wolverine Jokes

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

How many kids do you think Wolverine has?

Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What do mice do when they're at home?

Mousework!

What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me homes.

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

Why do hot girls always travel in threes?

Because they can't even.

How to fleas travel?

Itch hiking!

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on a Friday nght?

At a crow bar.

What do you call it when crows make noise?

A caw-cawphony

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.