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How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated?

So their skin won't feel so abrucive

Thermometer Jokes More Thermometer Jokes

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

They are both up to something.

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

GtOnly if you go aks your mother.