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How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why does Axl Rose have trouble getting his car fixed?

Because no one wants to feel his serpentine.

Thermometer Jokes More Thermometer Jokes

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

They are both up to something.

What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

You make my temperature rise.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why isn't he responding to us?

I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D