Monitor Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!

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Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

What's the definition of eternity?

Four blondes waiting at a four way stop.

Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

Why did the guy give up connecting his controller to his Xbox?

He was syncing too much time into it.

What should it sound like when it's connecting?

Guy in the back stands up confidently Pterodactyls

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Why did Olly call the manager for help, outside the store?

For the watch..

Why does Meek Mill avoid shopping on Black Friday?

Because the stores advertise "Back to Back" savings.

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What do you call a nuclear-powered car?

A mobile-Chernobyl!

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

The guy likes his power chords too much.

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How did Godzilla escape the trains?

He threw them off their tracks.

How do they keep track of books at the sausage library?

The Andouille Decimal System

Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?

He was baroque.

Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest?

Because it would be economically unviable to market a pharmaceutical in such a vastly unpopulated area.

Ouch Jokes More Ouch Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!