How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday?

Diego

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What's the best thing about Portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till Monday!

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.