How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player?

Ask them what OP stands for.

How can you tell if your goose is depressed?

It's feeling down.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?

Mack-u-la!

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

He was tired of coffin.

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.