Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

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Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Who Conquers All obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What does a vampire call a used tampon?

A teabag.

Why did the vampire miss work?

He was having a coffin fit!