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What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

What's the best way?

I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and Europeans?

For an European 500 Miles is a long distance, for an American 500 years are a long History

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down!