Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

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Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman?

He parks his car, man.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

Bachelor Jokes More Bachelor Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

Tater Jokes More Tater Jokes

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Obese Man Jokes More Obese Man Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Ottoman Empire Jokes More Ottoman Empire Jokes

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Why did the Ottoman empire collapse?

Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over.

Stem Jokes More Stem Jokes

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem?

A fungi to hang out with

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

Stem sell research.