Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

April Sale

Love Card

$5.99

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

You might also enjoy:

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What are you waiting for?

A car.

How's my driving?

Sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.

Organisation Jokes More Organisation Jokes

What kind of organisation is Atheism?

A non-prophet organisation.

Who in the organisation likes cats the most?

The purchaser.

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call someone who likes speed?

Racist.

What did the slug say to the snail?

Would you like a copy of the big issue

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do vampires make sandwiches out of?

Self-raising dead.

What made the vampire a gentlemen?

They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

Why is Harry Potter so popular?

The story grows on you.

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

He was caught playing with his broomstick.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic..

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

Tater Jokes More Tater Jokes

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater