If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
A pao-erful change
I bought some thyme yesterday.
Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.
Swine flu
U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.
It wasn't born yesterday.
Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
Yesterday
Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.
Because I couldn't find it yesterday.
Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."
It wasn't born yesterday
Diego
Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.
Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
I was 10 years old yesterday.
His boss always took him for granite.
Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...
It's near-humerus.
Because it was More ER Tea.
He prefers them shaken, not stirred.
Taken, not stirred.
Teach me.
His property was Fur Elise
Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!
A polterheist.
Well, this was a waste of Thyme.
Because thyme heals all wounds.
You are turbanned
Is it too basic?
A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!
Macademia.
