What was the last thing a blonde heard ...

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano?

Tulips on an Organ.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Why did Mufasa die?

Because he didn't Mufasa-nuff.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

What's today's date?

Germany/Brazil/2016

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu?

So he could flip the bird

Abc Jokes More Abc Jokes

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

"Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Where did the piglets study their ABC's?

At a school for higher loining.

Old Age Jokes More Old Age Jokes

What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker?

Not having to set aside money for your old age.

What are three signs old age?

1. Becoming forgetful