How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.

What's the worst thing about alcoholics?

They wine too much.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

He gets Tenyear.

Abc Jokes More Abc Jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's?

At LMN-tary school!

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

"Today children we will learn our ABC's"