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What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of Absinthe.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Whine Jokes More Whine Jokes

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

Leave it to peave her.