What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

What is similar about a necrophiliac and an alcoholic?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Whine Jokes More Whine Jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.