Whine Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

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What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

Leave it to peave her.

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France Jokes More France Jokes

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What do you call a puppy combined with bread?

Well, It's not a purebread anymore.

When she asks "is that your puppy?

Say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.

Engine Jokes More Engine Jokes

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is that bear hanging out in the bar?

ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.

How do you know a joke is a repost?

It's on the front page

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

Why did the pilot hit the Alps?

To get to the other side.

How do you find the pilot at a party?

He'll tell you.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does DNA Helicase and a 16 year old boy have in common?

The both want to unzip your genes. if you didnt get it: https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index qid=20121209104938AAKihOC

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What's a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross country