Whine Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

Leave it to peave her.

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Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why was the man hanging out in the market all day?

I don't know, but it was pretty bazaar

What do I have to do?

F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

Pitch Jokes More Pitch Jokes

What did the umpire say when Randy Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch?

So he could bring his 'sub' on

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call a group of alcoholics with the same name?

Alcoholics synonymous.

What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

Aircraft Jokes More Aircraft Jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What is the friendliest kind of aircraft?

A Hello-copter.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

How are babies different from feminists?

Babies grow up and stop crying

What are feminists best at in mathematics?

TRIGGER-nometry

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

In case she wanted black coffee.

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.