Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

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How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach?

Tan lines.

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Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.