Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

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Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!

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Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

How can you be so sure?

I was 10 years old yesterday.