Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

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What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it

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Where is 5?

Student: Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE

How can you be so sure?

I was 10 years old yesterday.

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How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..