Grandpa Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

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How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How do you understand women?

I really just want to know.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

Upload Jokes More Upload Jokes

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What a BLONDE will ask the doctor in the maternity ward?

"Is it mine?"

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

How selfish am I?

Circus peanuts and black licorice are my favorite candies just so I never have to share.

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?

His mom got soul custody.

How can you tell that your dog just gave birth?

It is now a parent.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How good are you at PowerPoint?

I said, "I Excel at it." He replied, "Was that a Microsoft Office pun " I was like, "Word."

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"