Grandpa Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

April Sale

Love Card

$5.99

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor.

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa.

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

You might also enjoy:

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the storm trooper get an iPhone?

He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for

How can you find out the gender of an ant?

Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What did one socket say to the other?

Stay grounded.

What should you do with a burning Kotex?

Throw it on the ground and tamp on it.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

How can you be so sure?

I was 10 years old yesterday.

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes?

He was just a nerdy digger.

What's black and full of holes?

Michael Brown

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why is hip hop popular among urban youth?

Because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.

What do you have if you have a mothball in one hand, and a mothball in the other hand?

A really big moth!