Grandpa Jokes

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

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How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor.

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

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What's the worst type of vegetable to bring on a boat?

Grandpa.

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Denture Jokes More Denture Jokes

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why Weren't There Many Jokes in the Dark Ages?

No one could perform the execution well enough.

Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.

Stroke Jokes More Stroke Jokes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

What does rock music and my grandpa have in common?

The Strokes

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

Shhhhhh.....it!!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the crayon want to be a phone?

Because it wanted to be a texta.

Why did the black man try to break into jail?

He wanted to be with his family.

Street Corner Jokes More Street Corner Jokes

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What do you call a potato on the street corner?

Idaho

Aneurysm Jokes More Aneurysm Jokes

What did the blonde medical student die from?

An aneurysm.

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor.