When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters?

Fire.

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?

2 large planes

Why do they write PIZZA all over the box?

What else could possibly be in there

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What 8 letter word is read the same way backwards and forwards?

Dyslexia

Why are so many racist jokes about black people?

Because black people can't read. Duh.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do Asians squint with their eyes?

Because bombs are bright.

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."