Pizza Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?

I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes

What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?

A pepperonly pizza!

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?

You can't top a good pizza joke.

Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?

Make me one with everything.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

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Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

How does a Mexican cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza?

Little Caesars

What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's

What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?

Because there wasn't mushroom on it.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?

Tomato-saurus

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?

A pizza can feed a family.

What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order?

One with everything

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

What do dwarves use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

How do hispanics cut a pizza?

Little Caesars

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like?

Little seizures.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

What do a pizza and this joke have in common?

They're both cheesy.

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?

Your teeth.

What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?

A Piecycle.

Why do they write PIZZA all over the box?

What else could possibly be in there

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

What kind of pizza does Buddha like?

One with everything.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What did one pizza tell the other pizza?

A cheesy pun.

How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp, and even.

What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?

My pizza jokes *can't be topped!*

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

What beer goes best with pizza?

Pepper-Peroni

What do you call pizza that isn't yours?

Impersonal pizza

What was the last pizza the twin towers had?

A plane one.

What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter?

Wanna pizza me

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

What is wrong with people?

Have they never had pizza

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

What is the dankest kind of pizza?

Pepe-roni

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?

Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*

How did King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."

What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me!

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear.

What kind of ring is the least exciting?

A BOring

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What is a Mexicans favourite sport?

Cross-Country

Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

Why did the man shut his donut shop?

Because he was fed up with the hole business!

Height Jokes More Height Jokes

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

What's white on top and black on the bottom?

Society.

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

When does a fisherman offend you the most?

When he's completely out of line

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

Why do you call these girls broads?

Cause I don't wanna be specific

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes (xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis)

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew.

Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?

Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.