Pizza Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?

I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?

A pepperonly pizza!

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?

You can't top a good pizza joke.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza?

Even if it is cold it's still good.

Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?

Make me one with everything.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?

Most people like the idea of pizza better.

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

How does a Mexican cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza?

Little Caesars

What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's

What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

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How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

Where do epileptics get pizza?

Little Seizures.

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?

Because there wasn't mushroom on it.

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?

Tomato-saurus

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?

A pizza can feed a family.

What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order?

One with everything

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

What do dwarves use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

How do hispanics cut a pizza?

Little Caesars

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

What do a pizza and this joke have in common?

They're both cheesy.

Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?

I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?

2 large planes

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?

Your teeth.

What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?

A Piecycle.

Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?

SNOE

Why do they write PIZZA all over the box?

What else could possibly be in there

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

What kind of pizza does Buddha like?

One with everything.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What did one pizza tell the other pizza?

A cheesy pun.

How many calls do I get?

Cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

How fast can you order a pizza?

HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT

How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp, and even.

What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?

My pizza jokes *can't be topped!*

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

What beer goes best with pizza?

Pepper-Peroni

What do you call pizza that isn't yours?

Impersonal pizza

What was the last pizza the twin towers had?

A plane one.

What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter?

Wanna pizza me

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

What is wrong with people?

Have they never had pizza

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

What is the dankest kind of pizza?

Pepe-roni

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?

Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*

How did King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."

What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.

Who delivers pizza in the hood?

Popo John's

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me!

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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What's long and hard On a black person?

First grade

What do you call a black person in space?

An astronaut.

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Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?

So he could shoot his mouth off.

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

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What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

Because she was drinking on the job.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea