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How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call 5 black guys around 1 white guy?

A family friend paying a visit.

Who let them out?

I PAID GOOD MONEY TO IMPRISON THEM

House Jokes More House Jokes

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

Philosophy Jokes More Philosophy Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

Doctorate Jokes More Doctorate Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What do you call a Tungsten Holmium compound with a Doctorate?

Doctor WHo