Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Freemasons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's a secret!

What did one archeologist say to the other archeologist when he screwed up?

I've got a bone to pick with you

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song?

Just Ants. Credit: My friend, the PUNisher.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?

Because there wasn't mushroom on it.

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts