Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

What's life like with alchohol?

Depressing. What's life like without alchohol? Depressing. I need friends.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?

Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts

What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

Dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT