What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

Your chron-tact.

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What do you guys think of polar bears?

I think they all white.

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

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Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

Where do military chaplains buy their regalia?

At the army surplice store.

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What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

What does the drug dealer make sure to do?

Weed out only the best suppliers