Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

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Dead Giveaway Jokes More Dead Giveaway Jokes

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing?

They have an engineering degree.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's the difference between tired and exhausted?

When you run in front of a car you get tired. When you run behind a car you get exhausted.

What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?

Don't look I'm changing!

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?

Because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a hippie was at your house?

He's still there.

Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?

Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry

Barium Jokes More Barium Jokes

What do you do to a chemist after they're dead?

You barium

What do you do with dead atoms?

Barium

Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the changes necessary will come from within.

Why did the skeleton leave the party?

Because everyone was calling him a bone-head.

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.