Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

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What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

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English Jokes More English Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?

Tally Hoes

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'

What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger?

Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Because he wanted a hot rod.

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look I'm changing!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How did the snowman get happy?

The snowblower came around

What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?

Time to try the udder one.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

Draft Jokes More Draft Jokes

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.