Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

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What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

Rehearse Jokes More Rehearse Jokes

Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much?

They're never short of Sichuan musicians.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What dog is always tired in London?

An English sleep dog.

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

What did one casket say to the other casket?

Hey, is that you coffin? Ba-dum-tsk...

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do you get when you foot falls asleep?

Coma-toes.

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

What is the car that everyone sleeps in?

The Ford Siesta Many thanks to for that one.