Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

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What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

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Rehearse Jokes More Rehearse Jokes

Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much?

They're never short of Sichuan musicians.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

Barium Jokes More Barium Jokes

What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies?

Barium

What do you get when you combine Bromine with Barium?

Breaking Bad

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube?

The more you twist them the harder they get.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

Why you should wash your car?

WASH YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT IS DIRTIER THAN MILEY CYRUS!

Dead Giveaway Jokes More Dead Giveaway Jokes

What do you call a will?

A dead giveaway

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger?

Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately.

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?

It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*

Cough Syrup Jokes More Cough Syrup Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.