What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

How do you make pickle bread?

You need dill dough.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Where does a hedge knight invest his money?

In a hedge fund

M Jokes More M Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

English Jokes More English Jokes

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

What's the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

What does a rapper use to write their songs?

Word,yo.

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What do you call cute seeds?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Borrow Jokes More Borrow Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!