Borrow Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

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What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?

A buffa

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Why is there a broom in the driveway?

Me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

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What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

Taking out a provoloan

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?

Thanks for the refill.

Dove Jokes More Dove Jokes

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What about my atm card which holds all my money?

Any 4 numbers in a row.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

What N-word do you never want to call a black man?

Neighbor!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's more annoying on the internet, a troll or spam?

Your mom!

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*