March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Borrow Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

Your Age Is Only Math
March Madness Sale

Your Age Is Only Math

$5.99

What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?

A buffa

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Why is there a broom in the driveway?

Me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

GtOnly if you go aks your mother.

Couple's Daily Question Mug
March Madness Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

Taking out a provoloan

What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?

You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

You might also enjoy:

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock?

He ran into trafiki.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who let the boys out?

Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right... the tuna fish!

Owner Neighbor Jokes More Owner Neighbor Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of car do ghosts drive?

BOOgatti!

What came first the car or the wheel?

The car because a wheel isn't cary fast but a car is wheely fast.

Bagpipe Jokes More Bagpipe Jokes

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

Sax Jokes More Sax Jokes

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.