Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?

Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Because he kept giving half of what he owes.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

Borrow Jokes More Borrow Jokes

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

Taking out a provoloan

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Football Player Jokes More Football Player Jokes

What did the football say to the football player?

I get a kick out of you.

Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm?

Because it was humerus.