How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.

Why doesn't Jesus like M&ampM's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife?

The jury store

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why is learning English confusing when you're camping?

Because running is past tents.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

In the MLA boxing ring

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.