English Teacher Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

In the MLA boxing ring

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

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Parole Jokes More Parole Jokes

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

Why is it hard for men to understand women?

Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?

Best vicious...

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

Boil Jokes More Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

What are you having?

First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What does a lawyer wear to work?

A law-suit

Why was the lawyer home early?

Briefcase

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why did the ghost stink?

Because it was covered in sheet

What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.

Alzheimer Patient Jokes More Alzheimer Patient Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

Past Tense Jokes More Past Tense Jokes

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

What is the definition of "moon"?

The past tense of "moo"!