English Teacher Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

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What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

In the MLA boxing ring

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Anxiety Jokes More Anxiety Jokes

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The change, if needed, will come from within.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

What kind of jean's do Mario prefer?

Denim Denim Denim.