How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the man break the clock?

He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What an evolved soul?

How'd he know Me: The judge told him.

How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing?

A quitter.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.