How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!

How did a blind man drive his car?

One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What do English pirates call each other?

M80

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.