What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception?

Parents.

Why don't people raid dodo nests anymore?

Because their eggs stinked!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot?

Let me be your *soil*mate

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Why did no one laugh at the hot dogs joke?

Because it was too cheesy. I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first.

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe?

GrammysRedCarpet

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

What kind of eye disease do vampires get?

Dracular degeneration.