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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Just one guy with a really weird fetish.

Why don't people like talking about herpes?

It's a sore subject.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call an Earl Grey that likes role play?

Not-tea

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

A drummer.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

Whatcha watching?

Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?

She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders?

The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of car does a pirate drive?

A Yarrrrrrrrris.

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.