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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the toaster say to the bread?

I want you inside me.

What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why did the sheep move house?

The neighbours were baaastsrds.

Why didn't the Smurfs fit in the house?

There wasn't mushroom.

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

When two ants want to run away and get married, who do they seek for help?

The Antelopes.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering