Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

Best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?

A wedding ring!

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

Why are there no owls here?

I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Whats a joke so bad its funny?

I just want some really hillarious jokes, preferably long ones

What's common between Marriage &amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

What do you get when you have one pinion nut in one hand, and two pinion nuts in another?

A difference of a pinion!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's the best thing about being born on 9/11/99?

You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2. One to screw it in and another to say, "I could do that".

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!

Ring Bearer Jokes More Ring Bearer Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

Edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

Engagement Ring Jokes More Engagement Ring Jokes

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Why is the love of a woman with 20 children magical?

Because it feels like a wizard's sleave.