Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

Best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?

A wedding ring!

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Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

Why does Axl Rose have trouble getting his car fixed?

Because no one wants to feel his serpentine.

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How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

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Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?

A forty-carrot wedding ring.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long