Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

Best before...

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?

A wedding ring!

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck?

A Christmas-Quacker!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

Why do towels get dirty?

If we use towels just to dry ourselves after washing off dirt and what not. Why do they get dirty??

What where Adam's first words to Eve?

Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why did the two boa constrictors get married?

Because they had a crush on each other!sna

What does bread do when it wants to get married...?

It e-loaf-es!

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What's the best moment of your life?

Me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady?

But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?

What did the double-amputee say when he stood up?

I stand corrected." -From