Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

Why do people call the deceased "late"?

They aren't late.. They aren't coming.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

Why don't people drink pig's milk?

Because its a bit too sow...

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.